They say that tears cleanse the soul. If that is the correct philosophy, then my soul should be immaculate.
Ironic that at this older age of my life, I find myself shedding tears for days long gone. Mistakes I've made in the past make me cry, having to be the life of the party and leaving my kids with babysitters make me cry, not doing enough for my parents make me cry, realizing the different paths I could have taken in my life make me cry.
What a joke it is on us as we get older and wiser to look back and worry about the events of the past, and we see the young
people around us making the same mistakes. When offering suggestions to them, they just shrug their shoulders because, after all, we are old so what do we know.
I want to scream at them to listen but instead, I cry again. Depression is not a factor in my crying. My life is blessed today with so many good things that I cherish. My crying is when I realize what I let slip by in my life. My crying is my way of dealing with the knowledge that the days are getting shorter so memories are to be made so I don't leave others crying.
When people hear my name, the first thing out of their mouth is about my being funny and how I am always laughing. That is a good legacy to leave but now I'll probably cry about them not knowing about my tears.
The best way to sum up my moments of tears is that old song,"Tears of a Clown." I think that was written with me in mind.
The point of this writing of mine is to let the young person reading it, realize the importance of cherishing each moment, to make their children the priority, to dance in the rain and bathe in the sun, to do the best you can everyday so when you are at my age, you won't look back and cry silent tears of where you made your mistakes.