Monday, March 9, 2015

So long, my sister and friend, till later.

Today I look around and realizing that Linda Ellis's birthday is here brings all kinds of feelings to the front. It's been 5 months and I still find myself starting to say things to her that only she would understand and then I realize she is not here. I say them anyway and hope no one hears me. I miss her and miss that she is missing all the things that are happening. I grinned today knowing that she would love how the house is looking but also knowing it would have been a fight everyday as to how, why, and who would be doing what. She had a very strong personality, was very, very frugal so I'm sure some of the expense would have caused her some moments and us as well. I lovingly remember a blog that I wrote a few years back when we tried to surprise her with some changes she had said she wanted. Wanting them and having them didn't always mean the same to her. She loved change after it was changed but didn't like while it was being changed.
Dad even said that the changes were great but it also said, "Even though these were some of the changes Linda suggested, I bet she would have fussed about it for a month and then you could have done it." He got Linda's personality as well. A pure heart of gold but very firm in what she felt and thought. I think after losing her husband and then losing her girls, her holding onto things around her was a point of knowing the things were hers and she didn't have to lose them and feel that hurt again. We all understood that and let her pretty much be and do as she wished. She helped us all, loved us through good and bad and would call us to task in a heartbeat if we weren't playing the role of life as she saw it. Sometimes it was hard to get, hard to understand and hard to be the bad guys but it was Linda's world and we,in order to be part of the world that she would allow, played our parts.
I miss her, I love her and she will always be that intelligent, silly, woman of conviction, take no prisoners, right is right, wrong is wrong, liars and thieves are despicable, gives her last dollar to a homeless person, yen and yang of a true Pisces with her fish not only sometimes swimming in opposite directions, but fighting for the way each was going, sister of mine. I respect her and know that she is the only one in the family that could have given cancer the fight that she did. She was strong in her faith, in her knowing her body and in her want to live a little longer and that she did.
An inspiration to many, a jester to us all and a friend that was never wavering if she loved you. May she rest in peace knowing she left a void that no one can fill. God bless you, Linda and thank God I had the opportunity to grow up and rise up to things I had no idea I was capable of.heart emoticon
This is the blog I wrote about remodeling for her a few years back. It makes me grin knowing that during this phase, she was probably shaking her head and now is grinning.
"My sister's birthday is coming soon and since she won't accept gifts, I figured out the perfect thing to give her. I called my son and asked if I made a list of all the things I heard her say that she wanted done in the house, would he be willing to do them? He does excellent work and does not charge family members.....yet.
When he said yes, I made a list of things I was sure would please second mistake. The first was when I got my son involved.
Her Internet always runs slow so why not upgrade the modem. A little time in the attic, a few changed receptacles and within a few hours, better Internet service. I did not realize the withdrawal from the Internet would cause such chaos. As she stood blocking her computer, nailing up the door to the attic and rewiring, taking the old modem and hiding it for future use, Maybe that should have been an indication she wasn't happy.
As my son is trying to get around her, making another trip to the hardware store, gets aggravated and tell her that because of not letting him do it the easy way, he was out $75.00 more. This, of course, was not a smart move on his part as now he has gone from THAT person who has invaded her space, to THAT MAN that yelled at her.
Many hours later, everyone is back on the Internet, everything moving along at a better pace. She is now happy and cannot understand why everyone around her is agitated.
The second project was taking the nails from the wall that a mirror had hung from by a chain. He put a new latch on the back, removed the chain, made sure it was done correctly and lo and were we to know she loved that chain. She retrieved it and probably will put more nails in the wall and hang it.
New windows put in the front, new security lights in the trees,
porch being redone. She has now hid his ladder, hid all the light bulbs and said too much light would show everything.
A new faucet is going into the kitchen. She was asked as to which one she preferred. Her reply, "the old one". I explained that this was the identical model but that it just didn't leak. She called us disposable people with no care of quality things.
My son said that he would give her anything she wanted if he could just not have to do anything that required changing anything around her. So tomorrow, I'm sure the old modem will be back, the chain will be back and the satisfaction that she won a pissing contest with a man will make her birthday a very happy one.
..and the beat goes on.