Washing Dishes by hand, hold-out!!!!

I unwrapped the big box and between thrill and shock  was a tear for a time I knew would be passing soon. A big, beautiful dishwasher stared at me from the wrapping paper and I oohed and ahhed as a small tear tried to make its way down my cheek.

It took another week to get it installed and as the excitement mounted for my using it the first time, I made sure to dirty a lot of dishes for my final washing by hand.

I'm probably the only human being in the world to absolutely love washing dishes. Over the years getting to the dirty dishes in the sink has given me that rare moment of time to think, to reminisce over wonderful and sad moments in my life, to be totally undisturbed by husbands, children or dogs because they were all afraid I'd make them do the dishes.  The sink knows my every thought and has handled more problems than most psychiatrist get in a year. I kept it polished, bought beautiful fixtures to adorn it as it was my sanctuary in life. Running water would drown out my sobs or my laughter, steam would make me think of a spa, cold would make me feel cool in the hottest heat.

I did one last wash and I told my friend I would still be there everyday but maybe not for as long. Changes have to come and I would still need the sink for vegetable washing, soakings, draining and so many things and it would now always be free of dishes to be used for other things.

The big dishwasher has now gone through it's first cycle and it was so quiet.  The dishes were sparkling clean and the smell was pleasant emanating from the opened door.  I did notice while the dishwasher was doing the dishes, I had time to sweep and mop the floor after I had wiped down all the cabinets. This was a plus so far.  I took the time I usually think my thoughts at the sink and used it to actually talk to others about what was bothering me. Interesting concept and maybe I won't have so much to think about.

So, hello, new friend and sometimes when I am loading you, I may mutter under my breath until I feel comfortable enough in knowing you to let you in on my thoughts. We will work together to make this union work and this creature of habit will embrace this change with open arms.

Stay with me, Rose!

A chill in the air and something seems not right.  In this change of season, I see such a change in the lives of all the things I hold so dear.

My beautiful Rose that has weathered so many storms and always stood so proudly in the center of the garden now has started to bend. The once thorny stem that warded off all intruders or anything to hurt was becoming softer to the touch.

The petals of the Rose that were always perfectly formed and was admired by all is now not holding the heart of the rose as tight and one by one the petals are wilting and falling.

Wanting so hard to keep the beauty of the rose through one more season, everything possible was done but no matter what, the Rose has started withering and the branch is slowly drying up. The Rose, being so proud, has allowed all the treatment given and has tried so valiantly to keep enough life as to bloom once again.

I watch, I wait and I hope that the remaining petals stay intact and as I watch, a tear comes to my eye. I need that Rose to be intact because I am not the Gardener that I want to be if I lose that rose.

I MOVED INTO A NURSING HOME-CALL FIRST!!

My dear Children,

Today when you left me at the nursing home with a promise to visit, I saw the tear in your eye. I love you so much but I don't want you to be so sad. Life has brought us to this crossroad and whatever comes next is welcomed.

The decision of my coming to this haven was one that was discussed way too long.  You analyzed, agonized, over a decision that if you had just asked me, I would have been here last week.

I need medical help you can't provide, and you can't afford. I need someone who will be stern with me and make me take my medicine, shower and move around. You always were too considerate of my feelings.

You could never go anywhere as a family because it would be too exhausting for me and you had to have someone come stay and make sure I didn't forget where I was or turn the stove on and forget that.  I cried inside every time I saw the want in your eyes and the denying of that want.

I had a full life and believe me, I left you home quite a bit, because in my era, fun, food and frolic was the main activity. I have regrets now about leaving you home so much while I had my selfish desires to take care of.  You still love me unconditionally so evidently the quality of time spent with you was refreshing.

I see the anger in your face sometime when I overstep my bounds and get into your business. Yet, you were always kinder than I was when my Mother-in-law would interfere.  I heard the clacking of your teeth and the constants sighs when you would suggest I do something  out of what I usually do.  I'm sorry for that and if I were truthful, a lot of times I knowingly did things to aggravate you because in my childish needs, I wanted more attention.

How many times do I regret when I made you feel guilty or acted a little sicker than I was just because your world was no longer about me. I remember plotting to cough louder in the morning to wake you up before your family got up. That way it would be just me and you.

You hated my smoking and loving my cocktail and I realize now, it wasn't the idea of me doing it, it was the needy way I was doing it. I didn't respect that other people needed to breathe or that the smell of smoke lingered until it was so foggy, the windows got opened. That was my life routine and I didn't want to change. I had forgotten one thing. There were people that cared about me, never asked me to change, just ask that maybe I could sit on the deck and maybe not put that extra shot of vodka that made me think you were still 15 years old and I was going to tell you what to do.

Please sit down with your children and because you love them, tell them that as you get older and if things start happening to your mind or body that they can't take care of, to do the humane thing and let you go to where you can get the care you need. I know we were raised that family  takes care of family but sometimes you have to know that the reality of the situation is totally different today.

I can love you just as much from here as I could there and I think now without us together every waking hour, we will find so much too  talk about, to laugh once again and I have a new place to fuss about. I love you, now let me go, smile and run to your life. Call and come by but do call first because you know the thing happening here.........
   THEY HAVE BINGO!!!   later.....

HUMAN RESOURCE-MAY WE HELP??? NO!!!!!!!!!

In the Corporate world, nothing is done to correct, reprimand or just write up an employee without going thru the politically savvy Human Resource Department.  When I say, politically correct, It sounds like the Step-ford family reunion..Everyone talks the same and if you need to report an incident, make sure your verbiage is correct or by the time you go through all the politically correct steps, the incident could be long forgotten or it's much too late.

My boss asked me to please write the Department to voice my complaint  about the employee she was writing up.  To me, if you have a legitimate reason and you are the boss, no other explanation should be needed.

I write the explanation and it was downhill from there. An employee spoke to me in a threatening (Not the correct word, so I was told) manner that was extremely hostile, (another incorrect word) and I submitted it to Human resources. Here is their response on the phone.

"Good afternoon, I received your eloquent, well place paragraphs, voicing your response about a fellow employee. Perhaps, before we get into the reason for the write up,  let's think about a few words we used.  You used the word threatening as he was standing over you in the office. Was he standing to the left or right or right or in the middle? When you said ,'banging his fist into the palm of his hand, ' was it the left hand or the right?. And, when you said, banging,' was it a fist or an open hand?' You used the word hostile, do you know him well enough to know how his demeanor usually is? Perhaps he was just being loud because of an ear stoppage? 

You must really choose your words carefully as you know how it is today!  Let's take a timeout to rethink the letter and get back to us with the changes."

The same employee, on another day, starts acting, threatening, came toward me to hit me and
my boss is yelling ,"Call Human resource and tell them.!"

I made a call alright........"hello, 911, I need you now!!!!"

  I have since been fired for not following procedure!  :)

CONVERSATION IS 2 PEOPLE????

Conversation according to most dictionaries is the spoken exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings

How fun is it when someone tells you how much they have just enjoyed a conversation with you  and you smile to yourself. In the two hours that the two of you were seated across from one another, the only thing you can remember doing is nodding your head. The few times that you were able to speak a few words reminded the person across from you of an event in their life which took at least twenty minutes to tell.

You can't be angry at this person because it's just not with you that this happens. You have seen them react with others in the exact same way. Perhaps they think their life is so much more interesting than yours, perhaps they are lonely and this is their way of being with someone. Maybe they never got the chance to actually learn how to exchange ideas  because no one ever took them to task for this behavior.

Sometimes it's frustrating and then sometimes you just have to accept this is the way the person is and if you have a relationship with this person, this is the way it is going to be.  You are hoping it is just a personality quirk and that they are possibly not that narcissistic. How sad would that be.

Of course my favorite things is to get the first drop, start a story and every time they want to interrupt, just talk over them.  I did this to someone who was always talking about them and their life and I heard from my friends that this person could not believe what a big ego I had. I still laugh when I think about it.

Moral of the story is to remember a conversation is so much more pleasant when all parties involved get to finish a thought, idea or just a fun story without the having to one up, interrupt or just talk over them. Try it and all of a sudden everyone enjoys talking to you.

BEWARE_THE VISITOR!!!!

"What can I do?"  This coming from me, the one who is never at a loss for what to do.


"What can I say?" This coming from someone who hasn't shut up in more years than most have lived.


 A new visitor has moved into our home.


This visitor has sucked the life out of a once happy place and moves from room to room to make sure no ounce of life is existing. The visitor has taken over what we eat, what we think, choices we make and just is a nuisance in everything that we had hoped for the future.


The visitor moves fast, doesn't apologize and always leaves the impression that no one is in control but it. Snarling, laughing, holding on tight are all the unwelcome  gestures from the visitor. We want to punch, hit, hurt and maim but this visitor has an impenetrable skin and holds strong against all attacks by us.


Crying, hurting, lashing out has no bearing on the visitor's soul. The more we hurt, the more it intrudes. Hate is such a strong word but is the only clean adjective to describe this life altering force that has physically and mentally drained all the want of life out of us.


Everyone gives different ideas about how to rid our lives of this beast but nothing seems to even move it anywhere near out of our life.


Watch out for the visitor. Guard yourself with everything you can because once it comes, it doesn't want to leave.


The visitor's name is cancer.

DON'T CALL ME A SALESPERSON!

"Everyone says you are the best salesperson in this store." says a co-worker with a sincerity in his voice that was a little unnerving.


I pondered that remark for hours and came to a realization that although it was a compliment he paid me, it was a misnomer.  I'm not the best salesperson in the store, I am the best product placement person.


When a customer is within eye contact, I smile or make a gesture as to the fact I am acknowledging their presence.  This is the welcoming  part of what my job entails. The next step is asking them, "What can I help you find?" This opens the dialogue for what my store can provide to fit their needs.


The reason I look like I'm the  best is because I know my products, what they do, and can give a reasonable explanation of why the product could be beneficial without crossing the line of diagnosing, offering a cure or trying to give them medical advice.


Realizing that the person is in the store because they want to buy something is what a few of our representatives miss.  Staying with the customer too long also creates a need on their part that is putting the representative in a position as to miss another customers need.


Multitasking as a representative is an art and can only be accomplished if you look up, look around, and make a point to make everyone that is in your vicinity aware that you see them. Just a small indication that you will be with them soon, can make a big difference in the impression the store makes.


I don't want to be the best salesperson in the store. I want to be part of a team that follows the examples that I set, not wait for me to step in and do their job for them.  I want customers to say of all of us, "Your store has the most knowledgeable and helpful representatives."


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