Controlling Companions

I cannot believe how you treat me after all I have done for you.  I try not to complain how some of your annoying habits are causing me stress.

Your snoring at night is driving me up a wall and your taking over my pillow and my side of the bed is just rude.

I'm sorry if you didn't like the dinner I made for you and I'm sorry that peanut butter is no longer your favorite.

Why do you have to wake me up every morning at the crack of dawn? I'm really sorry that you can't sleep but no one told you to lay around all day napping.

When the telephone rings, I should have the option of having over a minute conversation without you whining.

I am going to set some rules for this house and they will be followed. Do not look at me with that smirk.

Don't come over here trying to make up. Do not do that funny sighing thing you do. Allright, I forgive you but will you be terribly hurt if I say one thing?

You are a dog! I am the Master.  Well, at least I got to say it.