I MOVED INTO A NURSING HOME-CALL FIRST!!

My dear Children,

Today when you left me at the nursing home with a promise to visit, I saw the tear in your eye. I love you so much but I don't want you to be so sad. Life has brought us to this crossroad and whatever comes next is welcomed.

The decision of my coming to this haven was one that was discussed way too long.  You analyzed, agonized, over a decision that if you had just asked me, I would have been here last week.

I need medical help you can't provide, and you can't afford. I need someone who will be stern with me and make me take my medicine, shower and move around. You always were too considerate of my feelings.

You could never go anywhere as a family because it would be too exhausting for me and you had to have someone come stay and make sure I didn't forget where I was or turn the stove on and forget that.  I cried inside every time I saw the want in your eyes and the denying of that want.

I had a full life and believe me, I left you home quite a bit, because in my era, fun, food and frolic was the main activity. I have regrets now about leaving you home so much while I had my selfish desires to take care of.  You still love me unconditionally so evidently the quality of time spent with you was refreshing.

I see the anger in your face sometime when I overstep my bounds and get into your business. Yet, you were always kinder than I was when my Mother-in-law would interfere.  I heard the clacking of your teeth and the constants sighs when you would suggest I do something  out of what I usually do.  I'm sorry for that and if I were truthful, a lot of times I knowingly did things to aggravate you because in my childish needs, I wanted more attention.

How many times do I regret when I made you feel guilty or acted a little sicker than I was just because your world was no longer about me. I remember plotting to cough louder in the morning to wake you up before your family got up. That way it would be just me and you.

You hated my smoking and loving my cocktail and I realize now, it wasn't the idea of me doing it, it was the needy way I was doing it. I didn't respect that other people needed to breathe or that the smell of smoke lingered until it was so foggy, the windows got opened. That was my life routine and I didn't want to change. I had forgotten one thing. There were people that cared about me, never asked me to change, just ask that maybe I could sit on the deck and maybe not put that extra shot of vodka that made me think you were still 15 years old and I was going to tell you what to do.

Please sit down with your children and because you love them, tell them that as you get older and if things start happening to your mind or body that they can't take care of, to do the humane thing and let you go to where you can get the care you need. I know we were raised that family  takes care of family but sometimes you have to know that the reality of the situation is totally different today.

I can love you just as much from here as I could there and I think now without us together every waking hour, we will find so much too  talk about, to laugh once again and I have a new place to fuss about. I love you, now let me go, smile and run to your life. Call and come by but do call first because you know the thing happening here.........
   THEY HAVE BINGO!!!   later.....

HUMAN RESOURCE-MAY WE HELP??? NO!!!!!!!!!

In the Corporate world, nothing is done to correct, reprimand or just write up an employee without going thru the politically savvy Human Resource Department.  When I say, politically correct, It sounds like the Step-ford family reunion..Everyone talks the same and if you need to report an incident, make sure your verbiage is correct or by the time you go through all the politically correct steps, the incident could be long forgotten or it's much too late.

My boss asked me to please write the Department to voice my complaint  about the employee she was writing up.  To me, if you have a legitimate reason and you are the boss, no other explanation should be needed.

I write the explanation and it was downhill from there. An employee spoke to me in a threatening (Not the correct word, so I was told) manner that was extremely hostile, (another incorrect word) and I submitted it to Human resources. Here is their response on the phone.

"Good afternoon, I received your eloquent, well place paragraphs, voicing your response about a fellow employee. Perhaps, before we get into the reason for the write up,  let's think about a few words we used.  You used the word threatening as he was standing over you in the office. Was he standing to the left or right or right or in the middle? When you said ,'banging his fist into the palm of his hand, ' was it the left hand or the right?. And, when you said, banging,' was it a fist or an open hand?' You used the word hostile, do you know him well enough to know how his demeanor usually is? Perhaps he was just being loud because of an ear stoppage? 

You must really choose your words carefully as you know how it is today!  Let's take a timeout to rethink the letter and get back to us with the changes."

The same employee, on another day, starts acting, threatening, came toward me to hit me and
my boss is yelling ,"Call Human resource and tell them.!"

I made a call alright........"hello, 911, I need you now!!!!"

  I have since been fired for not following procedure!  :)

CONVERSATION IS 2 PEOPLE????

Conversation according to most dictionaries is the spoken exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings

How fun is it when someone tells you how much they have just enjoyed a conversation with you  and you smile to yourself. In the two hours that the two of you were seated across from one another, the only thing you can remember doing is nodding your head. The few times that you were able to speak a few words reminded the person across from you of an event in their life which took at least twenty minutes to tell.

You can't be angry at this person because it's just not with you that this happens. You have seen them react with others in the exact same way. Perhaps they think their life is so much more interesting than yours, perhaps they are lonely and this is their way of being with someone. Maybe they never got the chance to actually learn how to exchange ideas  because no one ever took them to task for this behavior.

Sometimes it's frustrating and then sometimes you just have to accept this is the way the person is and if you have a relationship with this person, this is the way it is going to be.  You are hoping it is just a personality quirk and that they are possibly not that narcissistic. How sad would that be.

Of course my favorite things is to get the first drop, start a story and every time they want to interrupt, just talk over them.  I did this to someone who was always talking about them and their life and I heard from my friends that this person could not believe what a big ego I had. I still laugh when I think about it.

Moral of the story is to remember a conversation is so much more pleasant when all parties involved get to finish a thought, idea or just a fun story without the having to one up, interrupt or just talk over them. Try it and all of a sudden everyone enjoys talking to you.

BEWARE_THE VISITOR!!!!

"What can I do?"  This coming from me, the one who is never at a loss for what to do.


"What can I say?" This coming from someone who hasn't shut up in more years than most have lived.


 A new visitor has moved into our home.


This visitor has sucked the life out of a once happy place and moves from room to room to make sure no ounce of life is existing. The visitor has taken over what we eat, what we think, choices we make and just is a nuisance in everything that we had hoped for the future.


The visitor moves fast, doesn't apologize and always leaves the impression that no one is in control but it. Snarling, laughing, holding on tight are all the unwelcome  gestures from the visitor. We want to punch, hit, hurt and maim but this visitor has an impenetrable skin and holds strong against all attacks by us.


Crying, hurting, lashing out has no bearing on the visitor's soul. The more we hurt, the more it intrudes. Hate is such a strong word but is the only clean adjective to describe this life altering force that has physically and mentally drained all the want of life out of us.


Everyone gives different ideas about how to rid our lives of this beast but nothing seems to even move it anywhere near out of our life.


Watch out for the visitor. Guard yourself with everything you can because once it comes, it doesn't want to leave.


The visitor's name is cancer.

DON'T CALL ME A SALESPERSON!

"Everyone says you are the best salesperson in this store." says a co-worker with a sincerity in his voice that was a little unnerving.


I pondered that remark for hours and came to a realization that although it was a compliment he paid me, it was a misnomer.  I'm not the best salesperson in the store, I am the best product placement person.


When a customer is within eye contact, I smile or make a gesture as to the fact I am acknowledging their presence.  This is the welcoming  part of what my job entails. The next step is asking them, "What can I help you find?" This opens the dialogue for what my store can provide to fit their needs.


The reason I look like I'm the  best is because I know my products, what they do, and can give a reasonable explanation of why the product could be beneficial without crossing the line of diagnosing, offering a cure or trying to give them medical advice.


Realizing that the person is in the store because they want to buy something is what a few of our representatives miss.  Staying with the customer too long also creates a need on their part that is putting the representative in a position as to miss another customers need.


Multitasking as a representative is an art and can only be accomplished if you look up, look around, and make a point to make everyone that is in your vicinity aware that you see them. Just a small indication that you will be with them soon, can make a big difference in the impression the store makes.


I don't want to be the best salesperson in the store. I want to be part of a team that follows the examples that I set, not wait for me to step in and do their job for them.  I want customers to say of all of us, "Your store has the most knowledgeable and helpful representatives."


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Thank God for unanswered Prayers.

In taking a moment to reflect the happenings of life, I found out one important thing.  "Thank God for unanswered prayers" should be at the top of everyone's list.


Remember at times how you might have wanted to trade places with the prettiest girl in your class, marry that good looking quarterback, get that job that your friend scored out from under you?  The nights you may have prayed for divine intervention to help you be the important child in the house, to look like your sister, have good grades like your brother?   At times thinking no one heard your prayers, you would feel a pity party coming on?


Your prayers were heard but God could see the road ahead and had other, better plans for you. Now that you are older and much wiser and have run into some of the people you wanted to be, aren't you thankful your prayers weren't answered?


Some people have the 'elephant in the room' that can't be shown to the public and no matter what color you paint it, it's still an elephant in the room.


That person you wanted to be may have turned out to have a bad drinking or drug problem and alienated everyone around them because the only way they could feel good about themselves was by hurting everyone that tried to help.You see this person and offer help and they throw up about all your past indiscretions which you and God had worked out a long time ago. You can do nothing but be there when they fall and help them back up if they will let you.


As we take each day at a time trying to become the best person we can be, then we also need to take a moment each day, relish where you are and what you have.  Open the window, look outside, take a deep breath and thank God for where you are and for not letting you lead the life you thought you wanted.

Daylight saving time and sunshine were my gifts for trying to stay healthy another year.  Every dreary Winter, I make the proclamation that healthy habits will be part of my life if I am just blessed with one more Spring and Summer.  This may not be the most worthy goal to try to achieve but for me, it is one of the most valuable things I could be given.

Slow, leisurely walks with Mya, my dog, birds dart diving into the bird feeder to make the water splash, the sounds of lawnmowers in the distant, people walking, weeding, sunning and just celebrating a great day to be outside, are just a few of the many things to smile about.

I open my closets and anything I have that looks like a lot of maintenance is put into the recycle pile for anyone wanting to take the time to keep the garment intact. I check for my easy, pull on shorts, shirts, jeans, baggy dresses and sandals, tennis shoes and flip flops. Anything with an elastic waistband stays in my closet.  It may seem like a waste to some but I always make sure somewhere else has the opportunity to wear anything I deem salvageable.  Life is getting to where there is no time for  clutter and my wardrobe is simplified enough that when I pass from this world, no one has to wade through all my things to see what to do with them.

The first buds of flowers are opening and how majestic is the feeling of new life popping out of the ground. Nature has blessed me with a garden that is actually going to produce some vegetables this year.

Little things in life should now be looked at, loved and appreciated. With no promises of another year, stop, take a deep breath and wow yourself with just what is serenity around you.  If you have to put on rose color glasses to see the beauty, then do it.  You only have this one time chance of a full life and it's up to you to make whatever and wherever you are in your life, work to YOUR advantage.